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QUASIMODO

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Sometimes, I look outside, and I think that a lot of other people have seen this snow before. Just like I think that a lot of other people have read those books before. And listened to those songs. I wonder how they feel tonight.
the perks of being a wallflower

the starlight hidden behind the cold clouds

'93; a reason to keep believing, a reason to live. I guess we are who we are for a lot of reasons. And maybe we'll never know most of them. But even if we don't have the power to choose where we come from, we can still choose where we go from there

falling out (of love)

Thursday @ 8.5.14

ah the same old question again.
what is love?
l o v e.
l o v e.

something that most people are desperately seeking. most people crave for. ache for.

what is it really? is it an act? a feeling? a dream? a physical state of being? an illusion?

is it worth fighting for?

is love enough?

should mere feeling (illusion) be enough to make you hold on to something that obviously brings negativity to your life?

in a span of one month i have experienced ups and downs probably more than the scariest roller coaster in the world. i was certain i fell in love... despite every logical being in my body insisted that it wasn't love. from the moment we made up until that saturday night, i feel like i'm the happiest human being. i didn't say this out loud to you that time but i really love falling asleep and waking up with you. i love the way you hold me when we sleep. i love the fact that i took a shower first and let you sleep a little bit more. not many people realise this but i love to hold hands. i love the fact that we hold hands everywhere. i love the way you kissed me. i love your smell. i love sleeping on your pillow. i love the way you told me you were in love with me. most of the time, i wanted to just stare into your eyes to see if you're lying because i can't find a reason why you would genuinely, honestly love me like that. i feel happy, elated and i said i love you too because i do.

i guess there's always a risk though. i hate the fact that you can take away all happiness in a second. because of something i didn't even realise i did. is your patience really that thin? are your bitterness, anger and hatred really stronger than your happiness? than your love? i wouldn't know now, would i?

the words you said when you're angry are just plain hurtful. i'm even more saddened by the fact that you knew, you knew, they would hurt me. you said them on purpose. to hurt me. you wanted to break me. you wanted to step and jump on me until i break to pieces. until you can pick up the pieces and be the hero.
i admit my worst habit (if you can even call it that) is i always, always, always avoid the things that would hurt me. as simple as a kpop-otp. i'd rather not know anything or act as if they don't exist to safe my own feelings. i know that it's probably not fair to treat you like this too. but i can't help it yet... i wanted to change for you, but i guess it wasn't fast enough for you.

i lost my train of thoughts.
bottom line.
i love you.